Really, General Mills?

We did it! We safely navigated the minefield of car travel with a small child for an extended period of time. We're in the hotel at our destination where The Parasite is having her afternoon nap. And we couldn't have done it without Cheerios. Ever been in a car with a toddler on the brink of a complete meltdown? That shit is LOUD. But you can't scream when your mouth is full of yummy, crunchy O-shaped cereal! Or at least it makes it more difficult. They serve as a muffler, really.

There is a commercial with a cute little boy sitting on his daddy's lap, reaching over his own Cheerios to steal his dad's and it's just so wholesome. Just like Cheerios! They're like the feelgood snack of the decade!

So you can imagine my disappointment when I saw CHOCOLATE CHEERIOS in my grocery store. Really, General Mills? You decided what was really necessary was another sugar-laden, shitty cereal on our shelves? You thought the Cheerios name could lend itself to that particular cause? You couldn't even give it another brand name? You've already got 12 brands to market and manage, what's one more? I'm really disappointed in you!

Also, person who left your discarded spoon and napkin in the display? You are gross!